The Five-Year Plan

I sat down recently and contemplated my existence and as usual it was a depressing event. I checked my prior year and the years before and asked myself what had I done with the time that I'd been granted. For those that are wondering why I waited till now to do this, it's quite elementary Watson (to borrow from the Great Sherlock Holmes)...my "new" year commences on the day of my birth, in this case 3rd June. Anyway that piece of trivia aside, I reviewed my goals and objectives and found I'd consistently fallen short of the mark on all of them, and let out a wail of frustration.
Some of the goals I'd set for myself were very un-SMART (for the non-management degree holders this means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed). They lack concrete description, could not be quantified, were highly unattenable and totally unrealistic and had no timeframe attached to them. And pursuit of such goals is the path to the loony bin. Other goals were totally out of my control and depended on others for their fulfilment. More loony fest material. I thus sat with a pen and pad, the requisite cup of java, mobi turned off and a "Do not disturb" sign boldly displayed on my front door, and slowly began the change process.
Change is never totally an external phenomena, it tends more to be an in-out process as opposed to an out-in one. Sure, certain external events can promote change to an extent but fundamentally change occurs when you make the decision to, and my life was definitely due for a change. My external catalyst for change was my "boyfriend" who after 7 eventful years now told me he wasn't likely to get hitched to me (I had to ask! Times a-wasting, my hairs a-grayin). Talk about a kick in the ass! This got me thinking (at last...do I hear you chanting)! What was I waiting for? I have no major commitments, I'm still young, still have all my hair and most of my teeth and I'm still a hottie (yeah, yeah, I know, I know...modesty becomes me)...so why was I putting brakes on my future? Because I was waiting on a proposal that I now know isn't likely to materialize? Good question. I finally realized I was holding on with tenacity so I'd have an excuse if I failed to fulfil my potential.
I drew up a list (surprisingly it was very short) of what was "wrong" with my life, what I needed to do to change the wrong (still working on that one), what I wanted to achieve with my life (even shorter) and then how I intended to get there as well as put a timeframe on each activity.
The first thing I decided that I would do more of was take risks. As the saying goes "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and if I don't take chances I only have myself to blame when I swallow sour grapes. The first risk I took was to submit some of my writing to a magazine. My facebook followers and friends had always told me that I should take the writing gig seriously but I always brushed it aside as friends being friends and blowing smoke up my derriere. I guess fear of flying also played a role in my reluctance, the fear of falling flat on my face and receiving rejection slips. This time I said "f**k it, what's the worst that can happen?" and took a shot by following up on requests for freelance writers for an internationally based magazine. I just submitted my first articles and my by-line could be coming to a vendor near you pretty soon (fingers crossed they publish the drivel I sent).
Number two on my list was to see exactly where this Entertainment gig would take me. I'm now in the process of signing on two new acts (actually three if I count my actress) to my artist management outfit (and registering the same) and am set to audition as the anchor of a new TV show billed to take off next quarter.
I've still not finished drafting my five-year plan, but I think I'm making inroads on breaking the past five years jinx!

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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The Journey

It's been a while since i've graced this segment. I apologize for my neglect (and in advance for my subsequent future desertion for alas many more shall come). My muse has redirected my thoughts to other areas, and though I still love to write, it's become a chore, a thankful (not thankless) one, thank the gods, but a chore nonetheless.
What wisdom (or madness dependent on your point of view; always respected by me, but please do extend me the same) to impart upon your minds today, I wonder? A little prose? A little poetry? Whatever it shall metamorph into, it will be a part of me. With every line, with every thought, with every vision expressed, I give to you (lovingly) a piece of my heart, my mind, my essence. My naked self, my true being, my totality and my (mildly skewered and thoroughly screwed) reality.

The Journey
I sat and wondered,
And I solemnly pondered,
On life's meaning and what is truly love, on joy and pain,
On wishful thoughts and hapless hopes, perceived loss and factual gain.
On starts and ends, on laughter and tears.
I look around and tallied my cares, my years and my fears.
I checked my past, my present and my future plains,
I saw the shallow, unmarked graves of dreams I'd unwittingly slain.
I heard the hue and cry, the reasons given why,
Why i should close my eyes to opportunity and growth, to voices within and without,
on why i should stay in this stagnant place.
Why i should be content with present state, and not work toward my stated grace.
I blocked my ears, steeled my arms, armed with just a will to succeed and steadfast heart, clad my feet,
Onward i tread, climbing steady, never lookin as Lot's wife did, upon the ruins of my past, steady climbin away from their predicted defeat.
Lonesome journey, devoid of friend or foe, this is a journey that is but mine alone.
Though the journey may tarry, my legs may become wary, my future lays brightly on the horizon, beckoning, the siren call to my ears.
Bruised, battered and barely whole, i will reach my intended and long sought for goal,
Then like the phoenix of lore, I shall rise, as from the ashes, I shall arise.
Once and for all, master of my art, not a tear shall shed from these eyes.

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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PLC Theory

Well I'm back in my school marm super hero disguise and ready to continue to (mis)educate you. I'm going to give you a very abridged marketing lesson (you guys should really start paying me for all this wisdom...I take AmEx, Mastercard, and InterSwitch payments although cash is preferable, what with all this bad credit going around!)
Anyway to the lesson at hand...the PLC, for laymen the Product Life Cycle. Every product has a life cycle, pretty much like a person's. The conception stage (R & D phase), the growth stage, the maturity stage, and the death or retirement stage.
First, some bright chaps in marketing come up with a product to serve a particular need or to improve upon an existing product. After spending mucho dinera on research, market surveys and branding etc the new product enters the scene.
It goes through a growth stage where product loyalty is developed and sales figures increase as more people become aware of the product. The maturity stage is when optimum usage or sales are reached. People are buying, word of mouth is good and everybody's happy...buyers feel their getting value for money and the producers are laughing to the bank (hopefully).
Then, comes decline. The market is saturated, product usefulness has run its course, imitators have arrived, market share and sales figures start to fall and eventually the product gets phased out. Now if the makers have their act together they can reinvent the product, discover new uses for the product, make entry into the market difficult for new contenders, engage in product diversification or modification etc during the maturity stage and extend the life cycle, but eventually the cycle must end.Now the same PLC theory exists in relationships. The conception stage of the relationship begins when Mr. A desires the hot new product, Ms. B.. Extensive research ensues...where does she hang out, what does she like, how does she roll? etc. Much capital and other resources are spent, surveys conducted and strategic planning engaged in to ensure smooth market entry.
Now depending on the desire of the man, the product maybe invested in as a prototype or beta test pending the release of the final product (Ms. F., G., H. or Z. Or if he's really in to Excel he could product test till Ms. IJ256!), or he might see Ms. B as the finished product.
The relationship progresses tentatively (the growth stage), everybody on their best behaviour and the market share of Ms. B increases as Mr. A begins to "buy" her way, and her uses are discovered.
All things being equal, we progress to the maturity stage. Ms. B's been accepted and her market share has reached its peak, and the issue of competing products arises and new entrants flood the market.
How does Ms. B maintain her market dominance?
A smart business person might choose to:

• re-brand the product along with an extensive new marketing strategy showcasing the product's alternate uses; (she flips the script and shows him other sides of her)
• engage in product adaptation or modification to meet the changing demands of the buyer (she attunes to his changing needs and grows with him);
• introduce of a supplementary product to increase the usefulness of and spark desire for the initial product (in this case fast forward 9 months); or
• simply find ways to remind the buyer why he was loyal to the product initially (she keeps giving that 'good good').

Now if Ms. B has been successful in warding off the competition she should be married, and only retired by death (usually Mr. A's).
However, as we sadly know, not all products are successful in the open market, it could be that:

• the product was a mismatch for the buyer (she wasn't the girl for him),
• the product's entry into the market was ill timed (he wasn't ready to settle down or she was too emotionally immature to settle down),
• the product failed to deliver (she wasn't who she said she was),
• the product maker failed to fully understand the market thus failing to adapt to changing user requirements (she got too comfortable, and forgot to pay attention and research his changing needs) or
• it was simply a bad market (he was just the wrong guy)

Whatever the case or cause, the product failed to satisfy the end user (Mr. A).A smart business person, if they decide to reintroduce the product, will analyse the reasons for the initial failure, reassess the target market demographics (make sure she's looking at the right type of man), align the product for market compatibility (make sure she's the right woman) and work out the kinks before relaunch (check bad attitudes, develop emotional maturity etc). Likewise in a failed relationship, a wise woman should assess, reevaluate and workout her lapses (if any) in the previous relationship, and then reintroduce herself appropriately repackaged for her new target market.
Originally Posted: 26 April 09

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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I Can't Tell You Why (...or Maybe I Can)

I'm really bored...hence the note blitz! As referenced in one of my prior notes (RE: My Current Playlist) the song with the subject title is one of my favorites. It's a song done in the late 70s by The Eagles the group that gave us classics like Hotel California, Love Will Keep Us Alive and Tequila Sunrise. It's an oldie no doubt, but its essence remains true, and most likely will centuries to come. It tells of a lover who is constantly drawn back to his partner. Despite the fights, the arguements, heart breaks and disappointments he constantly stops short at the door. Thankfully, he doesn't label his stupidity under the moniker of love.

I know...I constantly come across as a relationship cynic, maybe I am to an extent but I do seriously believe that God had good purpose when he made us male and female then told us to hook up. My problem with this however is rooted in Genesis 6 v 6 (Man by nature is wicked and constantly plans evil)...so many bad people with so many bad plans...but that asides, back to my topic.

My reservations regarding lust, like and love (and whether a fundamental difference actually exists between them) on the back burner momentarily, I find myself in a relationship quandary and have to ask...is love really enough? Love is so esoteric in nature...a mythical camelot, the yogi's nirvana...searched for, but the map showing its location lost in transit. It is not based on reality the way we talk it up, it is an ideal...and misplaced idealism is dangerous!

Love and all its promised peace have (and will continue to) driven many a soul crashing to the rocks just like the singin siren of folklore. Love is nice in concept, but I wonder whether the search for it hasn't somewhat eroded our God-given sense of practicality!

I love you...you (says you) love me, but somehow we can't seem to make it work! Why? Do we really have the right idea or are we simply pursuing a set of impossible totally unSMART goals? As I constantly preach, saying it and actually doing it are very different things. How can you claim to love me when you don't need me?

Love breeds need! The need for validation, the need to be needed. The need to feel like the other person's life would be incomplete without YOU! The need to feel like you count in the person's eyes. That they seek your validation too, that they lean on you, confide in you and can be weak in your presence. That your views count to them, that they can't live without you, that you are special. Selfishness at its best. I've recently discovered that I am selfish...I WANT to be truly needed, not just wanted, which goes contrary to my belief that love is about choice not necessity i.e you choice to be with the person you're with and are not compelled by forces beyond your control to be there.

There are times in a relationship that it feels like one of those 'never-ending' tv dramas where halfway through they keep replacing the soap star that plays your favorite character with someone else. Some relationships are just like that...you discover that you are f**king expendable...in YOUR OWN bloody movie (like some over-the-hill scarlet in Hollywood). Either your 'celebrity' status is so low that they could put in a new actor and your beau wouldn't even realise that he was kissing someone else, or worse still you get killed off in the script without a warning notice!

My new philosophy is that we do not seek love but need. Unfortunately we tend towards people who don't need us or who need us a bit too much (read this as co-dependant clingy, psycho a la Fatal Attraction (actually Glenn Close used them as a case study) with nada self-esteem). The issue now becomes an issue of striking a suitable need balance.

However women tend to be drawn to men who don't really need them (self included). By our very nature (most of us anyway) we are drawn towards 'MEN'. By this I refer to men who are driven, focused, goal getting, successful, take charge, cock of the coop men; not mealy mouthed mama's boys. Men who make things like walking on water, devising a workable plan for global peace and bringing an end to global warming seem like a walk in the park...all in a day's work (:-)), real kickass alpha males. The thing is...such men tend to be loners, packless wolves...never truly needing anyone, and find all they need within.

So what's a girl to do? Basically one thing...deal with it! Either accept the fact that he'll never truly need you in a Jordan Sparks' and C. B 'No Air' kinda way and be okay with that, or bounce and look for lesser mortals. Cynic? Or just a realist? I'd like to think I'm the latter.All said and done, I think I've told you why I remain where I'm not needed. Maybe it's love (or something like it) (yeah...right!!!)?

Originally Posted: 07 May 09

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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Caveats Abound

Permit me a moment of your time. I'm here again spreading my particular brand of reality (well...so says me anyway...you are totally free to disagree). Today I look at duality. The duality of love.

Many people believe that love is unconditional, that it is without strings, without boundaries, without limitations and without caveats. Hmmm! I really feel sorry for such poor foolish folk. It is this belief that causes so much unnecessary drama, trauma and distress in life. There is no such thing as unconditional in this game called love. And that's exactly how I view it...a game, where victory goes to those that hold a better hand.

Even the love that exists between mother and child is filled with conditionality. Every mother has her favorite child and all the others just have to suck up and bear it. It might not always be so obvious but something always gives it away.

Even in the affairs of couples there is no unconditionality in love. We love with condition, otherwise there would be no breakups, no messy divorces, no custody disputes, no visitation hearings. We'd love unreservedly till death and beyond. But we don't.

Love, like good has it's mirror image. Love and hate go together, just like good and evil. Without one can the other exist. How else would we appreciate good in all its ramifications if evil did not exist to highlight it? Likewise love! We are constantly taught that love harbours no negativity and that once we love we can not feel resentment towards our partners, or outright hatred on some choice days. We are made to believe that love is all warm and fuzzy, all sugar and spice and all things nice. All the movies always portray love as kinda stupid and moronic!

The truth is, love is not all about cuddles and hugs, midnight walks and such romantic hogwash...it's about conditions. We love because we expect to be loved in return, we take it to be a right. If I love him or her 50% then they should love me in exactly the same ratio. If I make x, y sacrifices then they should make a comparative sacrifice. Does that really sound like unconditional love to you? To make it worse a lot of us take our expectations one step further and say if I do 50 he or she should go 50 more just to prove they love me. Haba! What selfishness!Very few (self inclusive) can love in a vacuum. By this I mean, love without receiving love in reciprocation. Ask yourself in total honesty could you love the person you're with if they gave you no love in return? If you were the only one doing all the work to sustain the love, would you still stay? Would you willingly sacrifice all you are and will be, even unto death...for the one you love knowing categorically that they wouldn't do the same? I don't judge you if you say no to every question asked, because I truly, can not say yes!

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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