17 July 2009

Relationship Junkie

Aight...before you even say it...let me say it for you...there she goes again! Yes I'm back on the back of my usual and highly loved whipping boy...the relationship! I have nothing against relationships...look at my status. I exist in some sort of relationship although nowadays it tending more towards a relationship with myself.
Anyway looking at my relationship calendar recently, I was shocked to find that I've hardly ever been single for any tangible length of time! The longest period of time ever with me existing in a single state was close to two years, but I'm beginning to think that was solely based on the fact that there were no 'appropriate' men around (and anyway I really don't think I was looking too hard in all honesty). But seriously I don't think I've stayed 2 weeks without a man, sometimes I've even managed to get a replacement within 2 hours. Anyway my musings got me asking...am I a relationship junkie?. Is there a part of me so hung up on being in a relationship that I can't function effectively unless I'm one half of a twosome? Is there something about me that makes me unable to 'walk alone' or is just my desire not to wind up like someone prophesied (you know yourself...and I ain't letting that go no time soon) dying from an overdose of arsenic unwanted and unloved? Now to the Ms. Independent that I is, this line of reasoning had me screaming a very impassioned Hell no!!! but even I can't fight the evidence.
Like most people I have my addictions, I drink coffee like it's water, I have an overly fond relationship with Coca Cola (more of my caffeine addiction), I've been trying to kick my nicotine habit for God knows how long, and I have a fetish for underwear. All well and good. I'm also moderately OCD so I tend to be compulsive when I have a bee in my bonnet. Also...all well and good. But has my addiction prone and compulsive personality made me seek a new addiction...the relationship? Or is it a sign that I am not as independent as I once thought and require a constant state of codependance?
Now this thought got me looking at other women around me, to see whether my fixation was odd or if I was the norm, and this is what I found. Although alot of women exist in some state of singlehood (and longer than my 2 week average) it usually isn't by any choice of their own. It's not that they don't want the ...and the animals went in two by two it's just that the men of their choosing are unavailable. Well this could mean that they're more choosy than I am or it could just mean that more of the type of men I desire are readily available. Whatever the reasons women naturally gravitate towards relationships, men it seems naturally gravitate towards relations that somehow end up as relationships.

(Original posted: 15 May 2009)

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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Anonymous said...

haha! we is in the same boat sisturrr!!! Like damn I think I am even sadder than you are sef...

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