22 June 2009

Caveats Abound

Permit me a moment of your time. I'm here again spreading my particular brand of reality (well...so says me anyway...you are totally free to disagree). Today I look at duality. The duality of love.

Many people believe that love is unconditional, that it is without strings, without boundaries, without limitations and without caveats. Hmmm! I really feel sorry for such poor foolish folk. It is this belief that causes so much unnecessary drama, trauma and distress in life. There is no such thing as unconditional in this game called love. And that's exactly how I view it...a game, where victory goes to those that hold a better hand.

Even the love that exists between mother and child is filled with conditionality. Every mother has her favorite child and all the others just have to suck up and bear it. It might not always be so obvious but something always gives it away.

Even in the affairs of couples there is no unconditionality in love. We love with condition, otherwise there would be no breakups, no messy divorces, no custody disputes, no visitation hearings. We'd love unreservedly till death and beyond. But we don't.

Love, like good has it's mirror image. Love and hate go together, just like good and evil. Without one can the other exist. How else would we appreciate good in all its ramifications if evil did not exist to highlight it? Likewise love! We are constantly taught that love harbours no negativity and that once we love we can not feel resentment towards our partners, or outright hatred on some choice days. We are made to believe that love is all warm and fuzzy, all sugar and spice and all things nice. All the movies always portray love as kinda stupid and moronic!

The truth is, love is not all about cuddles and hugs, midnight walks and such romantic hogwash...it's about conditions. We love because we expect to be loved in return, we take it to be a right. If I love him or her 50% then they should love me in exactly the same ratio. If I make x, y sacrifices then they should make a comparative sacrifice. Does that really sound like unconditional love to you? To make it worse a lot of us take our expectations one step further and say if I do 50 he or she should go 50 more just to prove they love me. Haba! What selfishness!Very few (self inclusive) can love in a vacuum. By this I mean, love without receiving love in reciprocation. Ask yourself in total honesty could you love the person you're with if they gave you no love in return? If you were the only one doing all the work to sustain the love, would you still stay? Would you willingly sacrifice all you are and will be, even unto death...for the one you love knowing categorically that they wouldn't do the same? I don't judge you if you say no to every question asked, because I truly, can not say yes!

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)

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