22 June 2009

Taken by Force

Yes I know...I'm quite topical. I 'talk' about whatever enters my thoughts at a given time, and the discussions aren't always de riguer or socially polite or acceptable topics, and honestly come to think of it...I'm not so socially appropriate either. I talk about sex a little too much and a little too graphically for the liking of some (and trust me I really, REALLY...do try tone it down). However if all was nice and proper it really wouldn't be me, n'est pas?
Anyway the topic today is one that people rarely talk about and constantly shy away from. Rape! It's a topic that brings with it a lot of stigma and blame directed at the wrong person...the victim.
A victim of rape never really recovers from the attack...her scars may heal, and all physical reminders may disappear, but the emotional scars remain and her precious ability to trust without reservation is crushed. The physical assault is just the crux of the matter, the continued emotional assault is the kicker. Now if you are brave enough to report the rape you are once more raped by those that should aid you. The police (especially in Nigeria) take the line of reasoning that you most probably asked for it and compound your woes by asking you to describe how exactly your attacker did the thing and whether you enjoyed it. Even if you never report the case you become a laughing stock as your rapist gleefully spreads the tale of how he gave it to you and how you begged for more, leaving you tagged for life as easy and down for whatever and the prey for other like minded 'men'. Even confiding your disgrace to your nearest and dearest might not give you the needed solace as they might either blame you for your woes or advice you to forget the ugly incident as if you did something to be ashamed of...and further adding to your victimization.
The sad fact is women aren't safe even from those they know. Statistics show that most cases of rape are perpetuated by those close to the victims...the so-called acquaintance rape accounting for near 60 percent of reported cases. Those that you trust and let your guard down with become the enemy within. Not just friends and colleagues, but uncles, caregivers and fathers. So sad that in no place is a woman truly safe.
However rape is far more than physical violation. Even emotional and verbal assault are rape. Having worked in an all male environment I have been a victim of inappropriate conduct and touches, lewd and decidedly sexual talk and jokes. Put in a position that I feel violated mentally and emotionally but with little or no defence. The word for this is sexual harassment and in no way less than rape.
Wht leads a man to rape? What leads a man to forcibly take what is not given freely...especially when you all know that on a pound for pound, blow for blow basis she's no match for you (weaker vessel and all that). What kind of man derives satisfaction from hearing her screams, fighting, tears and pleading? It really beats me! And that crazy talk about 'I thought she really meant Yes and really wanted it' should be confined to the trash can, where it rightly belongs. Unless she's tearing off your clothes and nearly raping you...don't even go there. Take N. O. to be just that...NO!!!. Even if she's all mellow and drunk out of her wits, don't take advantage of what looks like a golden opportunity. She might not be so pleased with you when she comes to. In my view sex should be consensual...and should be between two consenting adults (emphasis on adult...a twelve year old, no matter how stacked, is not an adult and statutory rape is real believe it, but that a lecture for another day.)
Women are constantly victimized and those brave enough to shout out are further raped by the society that should protect them. In rape trials the victim is questioned about their sexual past, about their relationship with their attacker and their life is put under a microscope and their integrity put on trial. And the man in question only needs to maintain an argument of He said, She said.
Don't get me wrong...some women do play for the gallery and shout rape at the slightest provocation, sometimes as a sympathy ploy, or as a revenge tactic to get even with a man that they feel treated them badly. Even at that, we should not lose track of the fact that real victims exist, and it is our duty as a society to defend to rights of the innocent (and not so innocent).

DISCLAIMER: All thoughts and opinions expressed here are all mine (crazy as they might seem). All works here are my original work (unless otherwise stated)
Tweet It...You know you wanna


Post a Comment

I love to read what you think of my posts...so please obliged me and tell me what'ya think. I appreciate it!!!