Disclaimers and buyer beware signs are back in force, I'm officially back on the Love Train! Yipee :-)
Alright, I'm down from my little soap box and back to being an apostle of love (or whatever you call it).
When I was younger (not that I'm OLD, but younger than I am today) I had the belief that I could have it all...great job, great man, great family and a body like Halle Berry's after having the requisite 2.4 children. I still want to believe it's a possibility, but my brain says...hell no! But why not? Why isn't it possible to have everything? Why can't one have it all?
For a brief moment let's look at life as an ongoing business concern. No one starts a business aiming to fail...so business plans are written, partnerships formed, mission and vision statements are composed, SMART objectives, short- and long-term goals, targets and KPIs are established (if you're a smart business owner that is!). Now...every business is plagued by a recurring theme...resource scarcity! Thus activities must be prioritized...ranked in order of importance and resources allocated efficiently and effectively to help meet set objectives. If resources aren't supplied and scheduled just right...chaos ensues! The Japanese managers utilise the JIT (Just In Time) philosophy, supplying operational needs and resources as at when due to minimise overhead costs. The cherished resources include money, raw materials, human resources and time.
Ok! MGT 101 over. Job! Man! Family! You! Resource scarcity! There's only one me and God only gave the day 24hrs. How do I split myself equitably so that nothing suffers (including me)? Time is the greatest enemy. As women, socially, emotionally and biologically we are fundamentally programmed as 'nesters' (...home and hearth types). It isn't a Cinderella complex...that's just the way it is...we are designed to propagate! Like men...we also have the achievement drive. We want to succeed. But therein lies the Catch 22, can we fulfil both our 'feminine' urge to nest and our 'masculine' need for gratification\fulfilment and come out of the experience guilt-free? If we work the 12-14+ hours necessary to survive the corporate jungle what time's left for the rest? What time is left for tucking in kids at bed time (so that they don't start thinkin Aunty Ika is mummy), when you get home after 3 hours lost in traffic? What time is left to take care of your 'Madam' duties (so that Daddy doesn't start thinkin Aunty Ika is mummy)? How do you share the 24 hours? How do you share YOU? Something has to give! Job? Man? Family? Can we juggle all these balls without dropping one?
Is this a damned if you do, damned if you don't dilemma? If you concentrate on the career...are you selfish (and being successful does require an amount of selfishness and single-mindedness, and yes...ruthlessness)? If you concentrate on the family...are you an under-achiever? Do men have these same issues?
I'm not saying women can't have it all...hell...I want it all...but it's a high risk stunt, a bit like walkin a tight rope without a safety net...any miscalculation...SPLAT!
But hey...life itself is a risk...take the chance...you just might make it across the wire!
Posted: Jan 22, 2009
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