I like 'old school' jams...Billie Holiday, Charles & Eddie, Isaac Hayes etc cos for me that's the era when music still had soul, now it's all just bang, bang, booty; and bling, bling. From time to time when I want to really unwind I open up my collection and just listen to the oldies.
Recently I put on a Barry White CD and the song 'I Love You Just the Way...' drew my attention. It's actually a cover of a Frank Sinatra song but I think Barry did it better. Anyway the reason the song got me thinking was it's theme. "Don't go changing the color of your hair, don't go trying some new style... cos i love you just the way you are!"
The song is all about acceptance, loving the person you see...flaws and all. I've noticed however we rarely do (women especially).
We meet a person, start a relationship and then (ever so subtly) we start trying to change them to fit our perceptions of what they should be. It begins maybe with the way they dress, it moves to how they talk, who they roll with, what they should be, where they should be at in life, in the gospel according to you!
I'm not saying certain things aren't necessary to try and change such as life endangering habits, poor hygiene, dietary patterns etc but the manner in which these issues are brought up and handled also matters ... think constructive not destructive critique, or else it's just plain old nagging!
When you first met, the person was 'cool like that', by the time you start comparing them with others or the fantasy in your head, the problems start.
People never, ever change...unless THEY want to. If you push, they pull...away! I mean if they kept trying to change stuff about you, you'd start feeling inadequate and most likely wonder why they were with you at all! What you see is pretty much what you get, so maybe we should learn to love our partners...just the way they are!
Posted: Jan 27, 2009
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